Self Trust ……. the road to self Awareness
As a kid I learned self trust by climbing trees in the meadows, sledding down steep hills and cobble stone streets, jumping off two story buildings, walking home in the dark through the cemetery, getting cut an scraped no bandage needed. These experience and more taught me that I could rely on my inner knowing, intuition and my body. It gave me the stability to travel the world, be open to other races, cultures, beliefs and allowed a certain amount of risk in my daily life.
The other side of the coin I emotionally learned to distrust in my feelings and emotions by believing in sin, guilt, punishment and that humans are flawed. Mistakes were seen with a payment tag at the end rather than a learning and valuable insight in the process. The body was seen as vulnerable to disease, sexual guilt, growing older was tantamount to moving toward death rather than growth and expression.
The internal struggle was between emotions, feelings and the critical mind. The mind believed I could do almost anything my emotions would come with high anxiety at the possibility of risk real or imagined. I had lost my ability to discern to know the difference between fact and fiction, illusion and reality.
NO one told me reality was flexible that it was taffy, mud on the potters wheel. That belief in disease rather than health vitality and well being promoted just what I imagined was true. I began to notice people who believed that they got a winter cold every year DID. One friend who believed he was almost always lucky was, he attracted money fun jobs and interesting experiences. Conversely their was unlucky Albert broken arm, leg, nose, one job to the next never finding satisfaction and relationships were a disaster.
Soon I could listen to a persons story and within the story lines revealed the painted expression of their reality. The world at large with it’s beliefs in good guys and bad guys, right race and wrong race. Who is superior and who is not I began to see that the world like my own life was a painting, movie of our collective beliefs. It wasn’t that some were right and other wrong……………it was simply the understanding that we CREATE OUR REALITY out of the frame work of how we view it.
WOW, putting all that responsibility on me, NO one to blame, you mean I have to LEARN the architecture of reality, the music of this orchestra, the ins and outs of how my body responds to what I believe.
NO wonder it takes a few lifetimes, not so much to get it right but more to understand CREATIVITY and our experience within a flexible, malleable Universe.