ONE hand clapping
Carlos Castanega the nagual
Turning off the internal Dialog
It’s about forty years ago. I had just gone through an emotional dilemma a kind of shredding of what I believed was reality. Intuitively I started doing photography. I would shoot the crack in the sidewalk, the space between leaves, shadows and a lot of detail………… I became aware that focusing on detail brought up a lot of fear and anxiety. For months I continued this process finding that eventually the mental and emotional instability subsided and I began to feel stable and grounded once again. The act of doing the art of photography had externalized me into the world I had become afraid off.
The fear at the time was my anxiety of going into that space between notes, the drop off in falling asleep, crossing the road in heavy traffic and one’s attention is so focused on the space to move through to get on the other side. Eventually I began to recognize that photography, drawing and other acts that took focus and awareness turned off the internal dialog. In drawing it was necessary to draw the lines and not what I thought was the object. In photography if I didn’t suspend the mind chatter I couldn’t see the details of what I was shooting, same was true if I couldn’t suspend the self talk in a conversation and actually listen to the other person I couldn’t hear them.
It was a simple recognition of being afraid of the silence……….perhaps better said fear of turning off the internal dialog was tantamount to dying. Language has for a large part of the world has become the SELF. The living breathing being we call life. When what we are is put into a context of language and language becomes the rule of life. As in laws rule more often than insight, Beliefs rule more often than the heart in war and conflict, words creating ideas’ about race cause division and compassion goes out the window. All this accomplished through language, mind chatter, internal dialog. The mind and intellect is now GOD as in omnipotent. NO wonder there is fear in the silence.
One Hand Clapping a zen metaphor to turn off the chatter, similar happens taking psychedelics not that I recommend that as a way into the space between notes. Plant induced awareness of that place behind the appearance of reality is a peak into the backstage of the eternal play and drama of life. Eventually it must be accomplished without the psychedelics in order to gain personal power.
Meditation as an example eventually gets the individual behind the scenes of the mind chatter and the individual begins to realize they are not their incessant dialog that talks to themselves. Just as we move a finger, walk, move the tongue in speech, build a house with our hands……………we eventually come to realize that not only will the ending of the chatter not kill us but also that we through, art, meditation, movement and other forms that take focus can actually suspend the internal chatter by choice. We are then no longer at the mercy of the past nor at the mercy of the creators of The Right Belief.